Of Crashing Waves and Winter Sunsets...

I wasn't able to post as often as I would have liked to last month, but I'm hoping I will be able to blog a little more regularly again. My apologies! The past few weeks have been a bit crazy... not super busy, but just an unpredictable schedule. There have been many things to bring before the Lord - many dear friends who are going through trials and much pain. There is this feeling of being utterly powerless and inadequate, of not knowing the right words to say. And through it all, learning to leave everything in God's hands, trusting with everything within me that He will accomplish His good purpose. It's humbling to know that, if He wills, He will even work through my stumbling words. I sometimes feel like a child trying to ladle out tiny cups of water from the Ocean of Christ's love with a cracked teacup, but in reality He is the one whose waves crash down over the highest walls, and in that I can rest and rejoice!

I wanted to take a few moments on this second day of February to share tonight's beautiful sunset with you! I hear the groundhog saw its shadow today, but around here, it looks like spring is on its way. With February's arrival, the skies are beginning to clear, but the clouds that remain catch and throw the rays of the setting sun in brilliant patterns of light and colour.

Without further ado, the promised pictures!

When I first went out on our back deck to take some pictures, the rays of the sun were splendidly diffused through the clouds above. I took several shots before going back inside.

Five minutes later, I turned around and it looked twice as amazing. It was just sneaking down beyond the western horizon, spilling its last drops of molten gold.

Oh, whaddyaknow! It happened again! Once again I was just inside when the clouds above began to glow with pink and purple light. Out I rushed again to capture the ever-changing majesty. What a beautiful message of God's sovereignty and provision - the very same One who sets the path of the sun is the One who establishes my path!

Psalm 113 

Praise the LORD.

Praise the LORD, you his servants; 

praise the name of the LORD.
Let the name of the LORD be praised, 

both now and forevermore.
From the rising of the sun to the place where it sets, 

the name of the LORD is to be praised.

The LORD is exalted over all the nations, 

his glory above the heavens.
Who is like the LORD our God, 

the One who sits enthroned on high,
who stoops down to look 

on the heavens and the earth?

He raises the poor from the dust 

and lifts the needy from the ash heap;
he seats them with princes, 

with the princes of his people.
He settles the childless woman in her home 

as a happy mother of children.

Praise the LORD.

Once Upon a Time...

The softly falling rain silences the world beyond my window as I wrap myself in a soft blanket and open the book before me. The pattering on my windowpane slowly fades away until all I can hear is the beating of dragon wings and the ring of dueling swords. My tea grows cold while my imagination is flooded with the spicy aroma of pine forests, the taut emotions of tangled conflicts, the piercingly sad beauty of loyalty and loss.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

A sense of story seems wired into the the essence of humanity. Legends, fairytales, and histories from ages past still manage to enchant us. Why story? Why this fascination with things that have no correlation in our immediate lives? What does it matter, really? That a story should have a conclusion, a "happily ever after", a rags-to-riches ending, certainly doesn't parallel what we see of reality.

And yet it resonates.

I don't know if you've ever found this, but there can be times when fiction seems to expose a truer truth, a higher reality than we see with our eyes. Through words penned by another soul, longings are awakened for a country beyond imagination, a place we inexplicably know is home.

Perhaps it is because we belong to such a story.

It is written - written for us, written of us. The cynics may scoff, but there is a spotless bride, a coming King, a sleeper who was awakened, a love that is real. God is the ultimate author of all that is good. When our souls are stirred with the beauty of a well-crafted tale, perhaps it is because it is a reflection, in some vague way, of the story He has written. Even when reality shatters romantic idealism, there is an unseen reality that shines to defy the impossible, to redeem the irredeemable.

Existence would be flat and lifeless unless it was embodied by story. We do not read only the last page, when Prince Charming appears to rescue the princess and they ride off into the sunset to live happily ever after. The biting of our nails when the challenges seem insurmountable, the mirth of watching the hapless hero bumbling about, the bright fairy-tale colours on every page - these exist for a purpose of no less beauty. While prone to sin and human error, and having been used for ignoble purposes, God has gifted us with imagination and emotion because they are good. Thoughts and feelings have a purpose, meaning, and beauty - they are not reduced in meaning simply because of the greater, overarching story.

Likewise, the love of God exists not only for a certain end, but during every moment - He loves us not for what we can perform, but at every moment, and in every season - and for each moment there is a purpose, not only as a means to the end, but because God has breathed intrinsic value into every instant of time. There is a Story of greater beauty than any that has ever been penned by men, which is lived by everyone who believes. Abraham and Sarah, living in tents in the wilderness, looked ahead to the days of the unseen, promised city. Moses, a prince of Egypt, turned his back on earthly treasure to seek the reward of heaven. Rahab, a prostitute, was declared righteous for her belief and given a place of honor as an ancestor of the Messiah. A great cloud of witnesses goes before us, testifying to His glory, which outshines the value of anything real or imagined.

So let us imagine, let us dream, but oh! May we know the firm reality, the infinite depths of what exists for us in Christ. May we live, truly live, knowing that the great King is coming soon! The greatest love has come, chains are being undone, and we have a battle to fight!

Lavished

Family camp and youth camp were such fun, refreshing times.  Fellowshiping and worshiping with the body of Christ... lots of volleyball...  I'm definitely a liability, not an asset, when it comes to sports, but there were plenty of other things to do. :P  Such beautiful weather God gave us!  Only Sunday was a bit rainy, but I found reason to be thankful for all the rain we've had this summer, because the fire risk is low and campfires were allowed this year!  Oh how He blessed my heart that weekend... through the created beauty of His majesty revealed, the opportunities to encourage and be encouraged.  Three days after family camp ended, youth camp began. 

I was praying before and during those days at camp, that God would work in the hearts and lives of those who came, to build up each one and bring some to salvation, praying for many by name.  I prayed for myself as well, because I'd been feeling distant and discouraged, and I so wanted to be brought nearer to my Jesus.  The second morning at camp, as I spent a few quiet moments in my Bible, I read Ephesians 1.  Oh how the words washed over my soul, answering my prayer for God to "restore to me the joy of my salvation..." (Ps 51:12).  I'd been struggling with the nagging, subconscious thoughts that God doesn't truly, fully love or accept me... that somehow He's distanced himself or has turned away in disinterest.  Of course I'd never really believe that if I actually thought about it, but those are the subtle lies that float around like a vapour, without shape or substance, poisoning my heart.  Have you read Ephesians 1 recently?  Just read some of these verses...

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ... In love he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that he lavished on us." (Ephesians 1:3-8, select verses)

Wow.  He was thinking of love from the beginning of eternity, thinking of us, of me... His blood was shed, freely given in the One he loves... oh what riches! "Lavished." A perfect word.  Oh, but wait until you read these next verses, in Ephesians 1:18-20,

"I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is the same as the mighty strength he exerted when he raised Christ from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms."

Unimaginable. Truly. I'm humbled by the greatness of that power, the riches that are extended to one so poor as I. Each night after campfire as I walked up to the washroom to brush my teeth before bed, I would stop in the quiet darkness to look up and worship. What a Creator we serve! Each point of light, far above me in the heavens, crying forth the glory of God... like pinpricks to my eyes, but in reality larger than my mind could fathom.

image credit

Oh how gracious our God is! Not only did He speak to my heart and strengthen my spirit, He further answered my prayers and brought another soul into His kingdom that weekend. Oh how precious salvation is... I was truly overwhelmed with it... with the enormity of it, the praise of such a gracious redemption. My heart did not cease to sing those lines from Amazing Grace,

'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,

And grace my fears relieved;

How precious did that grace appear,

The hour I first believ'd!

Perhaps it sometimes grows less precious to us due to time, but oh how we need to remember the wonder, the freshness of that first hour... the wonder of new birth - a new creation! Surely that is not something commonplace.  When I sing of it, when I read of it in His word, may it not be merely words, but an expression of the wonder and glory of this great redemption.  Undeserving, lost, His enemy, but given all things in Christ, our Saviour.

Truly, we are loved. Lavished.

Onward Ho!

Well, this summer seems to be sailing by... relatively unobserved by myself.  There are two main reasons for this.  Firstly, the weather has all but convinced me that we have mysteriously been transported to the southern hemisphere.  This is the coldest, rainiest summer I can remember.  There have been a few warm days, today being one of them, but truly, we have had some very unseasonable temperatures.  The second reason for the lack of summer-ness is the fact that I have been finishing courses.  Thankfully, the final assignments are rapidly approaching annihilation.  Indeed, they shall be completed by the early portion of next week.  I have decreed it.

If you ask me why I am writing so strangely today, the simple answer is that I am possessed with a strong sense of felicity.  If you ask me what has induced this bout of felicitousness, I would have to attribute it to the sense of nearing the finish line in regards to school and anticipation for church family camp this weekend... and youth camp next week.  And going camping with my family in the states the two weeks after that.

Books.  I am very much bookish this summer.  Not like that's anything unusual... but instead of plowing through a dozen novels a week, I've been slowly working my way through a rather challenging list of non-fiction.  Emphasis on the slowly.  As I said, I've been working hard to get my courses finished.  But I am so looking forward to being able to dig into some good, challenging books.  Of course, I'll probably still read some novels and things that aren't on my list, but I guess I feel like I'm at a stage in my life where I need to really start challenging myself more, rather than relying on the expectations of others.  So I stood in front of the bookshelf in the living room a few weeks ago and picked out a dozen or so that caught my eye.

Here's my "official" reading list for this summer:

- Trusting God by Jerry Bridges (currently reading... still)
- 7 Men Who Rule the World From the Grave (currently reading)
- Girls Gone Wise by Mary Kassian (currently reading lol no, three at once is nothing for me :P)
- The Origin of Species
- A Brief History of Eternity
- Darwin's Black Box
- The World That Perished
- The De-Valuing of America
- The Thousand Year War
- Don't Let Canada Die of Neglect
- Free Enterprise: A Judeo-Christian Defense
- The Roots of Endurance by John Piper
- How Now Shall We Live? by Charles Colson and Nancy Pearcey

Also, I'm hoping to do something artistic this summer... I've got the preliminary sketch of a painting done, and I'm hoping I'll have some time in August to complete it. :)


I just finished reading through the book of Revelation last night... All I can say is, "Amen. Come, Lord Jesus." (Rev. 22:20)  I've always found Revelation a difficult book to read and understand, and honestly, though I don't think it will every be easy, I did have a better understanding of it this time, and God spoke some amazing truths to my heart about His glory and power.  What amazing promises He has given to those who are in Christ.  "His bond-servants will serve Him; they will see His face, and His name will be on their foreheads. And there will no longer be any night; and they will not have need of the light of a lamp nor the light of the sun, because the Lord God will illumine them; and they will reign forever and ever." (Rev 22:3-5)

It makes me think of 1 John 3:2-3, "Beloved, now we are children of God, and it has not appeared as yet what we will be. We know that when He appears, we will be like Him, because we will see Him just as He is. And everyone who has this hope fixed on Him purifies himself, just as He is pure."  Wow... what an incredible thing we have to look forward to!  This is much better than camping for a weekend. ;) That heavenly worship and fellowship will be perfect... oh how I long for that day! I'm just reminded again of the fact that the goal of the Christian life is not to do enough good things to get an honorable mention in Heaven, but to see Jesus! As Paul wrote, "in the future there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day; and not only to me, but also to all who have loved His appearing." (2 Tim 4:8) May we live our lives with this anticipation!

And off I go to round up some last minute things before we head off tonight.  Blessings to you all!

Peace; Be Still!

Well, I started writing a post a couple days ago, but as many of you experienced, Blogger was acting up and I wasn't able to post it.  With that, and various exams and commitments, I haven't been a very good blogger.  I sort of feel like offering an apology for my lack of posting, but at the same time, I don't think you deserve it. :P Kidding!  Really, I don't feel like I have a lot of direction for my blog right now, so please bear with me, but I guess I'll keep posting once in a while when God lays something on my heart to share.

This may be less than coherent, due to about 6 half-hours of sleep last night at a friend's house, interrupted by three spazzing cats.  Nice kitties.  Sure...  Anyhow, I'm tired, but thankful to God for so many things - strength, the flowers and warm breezes today, my family, my friends, and the opportunities and conversations He brings my way.

He's been working!  There are so many beautiful and humbling things He does in my heart and life each day, and I know that He is working in so many hearts and lives.  Beyond each thing I see, there are, as John Piper says, a thousand things God is doing that I do not see, and know nothing about.

Last weekend my church had a True Woman conference.  Women of all ages gathered to listen to some challenging DVD sessions by Nancy Leigh Demoss, Kay Arthur, John Piper, Joni Eareckson Tada, and others.  I know many eighteen-year-olds who would despise sitting in a school gym listening to a call to being a godly woman who embraces the role of being a wife and mother and forsaking the lies of feminism, but young women today desperately NEED to hear this.  My heart aches for the many, many young women in our world, even Christian young women, who are without compass and direction because they are focused on themselves.  Rather than feminism, I believe that Christian young ladies must be embracing femininity as God has so beautifully designed for us.

Our culture and the media bombard us with the message that we deserve to be happy and have attention and be beautiful, but we cannot blame the world for a disease that begins in our own hearts.  That disease is sin, and it feeds on love of self.  I myself have justified sin by comparing myself to the world, or saying, "It's just something fun.  It's not really bad, it's not really going to affect me."  I know for many young women I know, this is manifested most obviously in the movies we watch and the music we listen to.

Throughout the conference this past weekend, my heart has been drawn again and again to the Word of God as the compass and the very center and foundation of our lives.  Without that, we are, as Ephesians 4:14-15 says, "children, tossed here and there by waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, by craftiness in deceitful scheming." Do you realize that we are tossed to and fro by our own thoughts and desires, unless they are rooted in the truth of Christ?

I have truly seen this in my own life.  The week before the conference was a difficult one for me spiritually.  I don't really know how to explain it, but it felt like there was a dark cloud separating me from God, like I was incapable of crying out to Him.  I wanted to feel His presence again, and to have assurance, but doubts were filling my mind and hindering my prayers.  I had been praying that God would speak to my heart at the conference and wake me up again to see my own sin and His glory.  He so faithfully answered, and showed me that I need to truly make war against the apathy of my flesh, and again reminded me to make it my aim to seek Him with all of my heart.  I again saw clearly that God is the greatest treasure, and that I don't need to doubt the goodness of His ways and His plans.  There is nothing in this earth, and nothing that I can imagine that compares to the glorious perfection that He is.  I was also reminded that I must not let my emotions carry me so that I am "tossed here and there by waves and carried about by every wind," but turn to the Word, which is the rock and the anchor in the storm.

When Jesus calmed the storm in Mark 4, He did not comfort His disciples with the reassurance that the storm was gone - instead, He rebuked them for their lack of faith.  As He did so, they were filled with great fear, and said,  "Who then is this, that even the wind and the sea obey him?"  I had to laugh when I read that.  They were no longer afraid of the storm, but of the One who had the power to command the universe!  Well they should be - and so should we!  Nonetheless, how much better it would be for us, if, like Peter, we would look to Christ with faith and walk on water through the storm!  Peter walked away from what any "logical" person would see as his salvation - the boat.  This is a beautiful act - Peter turned his back on earthly safety, and trusted that Jesus would give him the power to follow the Lord.  But do you remember what happened to Peter when he looked away from Jesus?  Matthew 14:30 says, "when he saw the wind, he was afraid" and began to sink.

For me, this is a time of life when often, everything seems to be spinning out of control.  I so often look at the "waves and wind" around me and am filled with fear.  Each step seems perilous, and Jesus seems far away.  Regardless of how old you are, perhaps you are also going through a time like that.  I want to encourage you with this - Christ is the anchor in the storm.  Look to Him; focus on Him; pursue Him, and live for His glory above all.  This is what I am preaching to myself in these days, and this is what brings my soul peace.  Thank you, Lord Jesus!  What a beautiful Savior!

Psalm 46

God is our refuge and strength,
   a very present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way,
   though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam,
   though the mountains tremble at its swelling.

                    

 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
   the holy habitation of the Most High.
God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved;
   God will help her when morning dawns.
The nations rage, the kingdoms totter;
   he utters his voice, the earth melts.

The LORD of hosts is with us;
   the God of Jacob is our fortress.
                  

Come, behold the works of the LORD,
   how he has brought desolations on the earth.
He makes wars cease to the end of the earth;
   he breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
he burns the chariots with fire.
"Be still, and know that I am God.
   I will be exalted among the nations,
   I will be exalted in the earth!"
The LORD of hosts is with us;
   the God of Jacob is our fortress.