Christmas Time is [almost] Here!

Ah... what a wonderful time of year! Crazy it's halfway through December already, and only 10 days until Christmas. Didn't even realize that until I just counted! Life is going at breakneck speed, though I'm trying to enjoy and give thanks for every moment. Only one exam to go - after Monday I'll be able to totally get into Christmas mode.

We decked out our tree last Sunday - the most gorgeous tree we've ever had, if I do say so myself. :) I'll see if I can find a picture of it soon. Such a blessing too - we got a really good deal from a local homeschooling family who grows Christmas trees.

I love the Christmas baking...

Yummy date balls I made this week!

The last minute presents being finished and wrapped up...

Baby sweater and hat I did a while ago... not actually a Christmas gift. :)

 The snowflakes coming at last... and the hoping for a white Christmas, so rare here...

The view from the window right now - it's still coming down out there!

The joy and nostalgia of listening to Christmas albums that have been played every year for as long as I can remember: Boney M., Alabama, Kenny G., Bing Crosby...

I'm thankful for the time being spent with my wonderful, crazy family, just simply being together. It won't be forever, and I'm realizing what a gift a close family is. The most wonderful gifts are not the ones seen and touched, but the ones that are revealed in the heart and known through the Spirit, brought by the Prince of Peace.

Singing in the Rain

November. Many years, just the name of this month makes me want to say, "no." No November, thank you kindly. No cold, dark, wet, grey. No midterms or group project presentations or sprinting to the bus on dark mornings, lugging books like a bedraggled camel while balancing my umbrella and hoping my socks will dry before it's time to come home again.

But if I said no to November, there wouldn't be the joy of watching these last few leaves fall to the ground in bright, crunchy carpets. There wouldn't be the wonder of seeing the sky shine bright blue through thinning branches in the midst of weeks of rain. I wouldn't have had the joy and fun of watching the kids on Wednesday night, building marshmallow and spaghetti towers of babel, and laughing along with them.

The trees on my university campus - so beautiful! Photo credit - Nelson.

Things have been getting busier and busier. I haven't been as disciplined as I should be. My courses aren't as interesting as I thought they'd be. Many dear friends, church family, and family, face serious trials. Sometimes I just feel helpless... helpless... in the face of hurts that only God, and only truly knowing Him, can heal. But there are jewels found amidst suffering. There is forgiveness. There is the incredible joy of eternal life even when flesh wastes away. But still, the wound of life is raw. There is forgiveness rejected despite desperate prayers. There are choices made that tear apart fragile faith. Sometimes life draws my eyes to stray from His goodness.

November. Just another month in this short life. Yet in His perspective, it comes down to being "His possession - to the praise of His glory." (Eph 1:14) In God's economy, it's not about good and bad, but about giving everything to Him. Just spending a couple moments reading scriptures, remembering who I am, who He is - that's what brings it all back to joy - pure joy - because He measures out every circumstance for good.

Sometimes I still wish I could say no to November, but the beauty He will bring is worth it all - for it's no less than His Glory.

What I'm Learning...

It's been a busy week... I'm not used to eating most of my meals either before or after the rest of the family, or spending more time out than at home. The hardest part is not being able to have much of a schedule. New things have popped up unexpectedly, and my work schedule is sporadic to say the least. Thankfully, I have a few days where I'm not working now, unless someone calls and asks me to take a shift.

It's those days when I'm out of the house at 8 am and not back until 9 pm, tomorrow's homework still needs to be done, the bathroom is getting scary, my bed still isn't made from yesterday, and I can hardly read a Psalm before I crash, that I start to wonder why I'm doing this.

God has a plan.

And goodness - He's teaching me so much.

I'm learning that although I'm grateful for this opportunity to take a semester at University, I'm not going to be doing this for another four years, unless it's for something practical like nursing. (Which is still a possibility - waiting to see where the Lord leads for that one.)

I'm learning what it is I love about learning.  Those years of homeschooling were what taught me to love and value knowledge - and not just knowledge, but to begin to seek wisdom, something that is not the basis or goal of university learning.

But far beyond that, He's teaching me some incredible things about seeking Him and putting everything in His hands. I can't get over how beautiful life becomes when the reality of who my God is - as Saviour and Creator - is at the forefront. It really doesn't matter what's going on, because though I often don't understand, and sometimes kick and scream a little, He is sovereign. He's making beauty that I can't even imagine yet.

I see it as I sit waiting for the bus, looking up at the incredible fall colours of the giant maples across the street. My God made those trees! Yes, I see Him more and more in these small (but oh so majestic!) things, but also in the big things as well.

In pain, in tragedy, in changes and new births, HE IS SOVEREIGN. In everything, may my desire be simply to follow Him.

Quiet Heart

I'm thankful for peaceful evenings... 

 the quiet of the trees...

the sun sinking over a placid lake...

being blessed by these people and these places, where God's beauty shines so clearly,

reminding me to keep a quiet heart.

Of Crashing Waves and Winter Sunsets...

I wasn't able to post as often as I would have liked to last month, but I'm hoping I will be able to blog a little more regularly again. My apologies! The past few weeks have been a bit crazy... not super busy, but just an unpredictable schedule. There have been many things to bring before the Lord - many dear friends who are going through trials and much pain. There is this feeling of being utterly powerless and inadequate, of not knowing the right words to say. And through it all, learning to leave everything in God's hands, trusting with everything within me that He will accomplish His good purpose. It's humbling to know that, if He wills, He will even work through my stumbling words. I sometimes feel like a child trying to ladle out tiny cups of water from the Ocean of Christ's love with a cracked teacup, but in reality He is the one whose waves crash down over the highest walls, and in that I can rest and rejoice!

I wanted to take a few moments on this second day of February to share tonight's beautiful sunset with you! I hear the groundhog saw its shadow today, but around here, it looks like spring is on its way. With February's arrival, the skies are beginning to clear, but the clouds that remain catch and throw the rays of the setting sun in brilliant patterns of light and colour.

Without further ado, the promised pictures!

When I first went out on our back deck to take some pictures, the rays of the sun were splendidly diffused through the clouds above. I took several shots before going back inside.

Five minutes later, I turned around and it looked twice as amazing. It was just sneaking down beyond the western horizon, spilling its last drops of molten gold.

Oh, whaddyaknow! It happened again! Once again I was just inside when the clouds above began to glow with pink and purple light. Out I rushed again to capture the ever-changing majesty. What a beautiful message of God's sovereignty and provision - the very same One who sets the path of the sun is the One who establishes my path!

Psalm 113 

Praise the LORD.

Praise the LORD, you his servants; 

praise the name of the LORD.
Let the name of the LORD be praised, 

both now and forevermore.
From the rising of the sun to the place where it sets, 

the name of the LORD is to be praised.

The LORD is exalted over all the nations, 

his glory above the heavens.
Who is like the LORD our God, 

the One who sits enthroned on high,
who stoops down to look 

on the heavens and the earth?

He raises the poor from the dust 

and lifts the needy from the ash heap;
he seats them with princes, 

with the princes of his people.
He settles the childless woman in her home 

as a happy mother of children.

Praise the LORD.

Once Upon a Time...

The softly falling rain silences the world beyond my window as I wrap myself in a soft blanket and open the book before me. The pattering on my windowpane slowly fades away until all I can hear is the beating of dragon wings and the ring of dueling swords. My tea grows cold while my imagination is flooded with the spicy aroma of pine forests, the taut emotions of tangled conflicts, the piercingly sad beauty of loyalty and loss.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

A sense of story seems wired into the the essence of humanity. Legends, fairytales, and histories from ages past still manage to enchant us. Why story? Why this fascination with things that have no correlation in our immediate lives? What does it matter, really? That a story should have a conclusion, a "happily ever after", a rags-to-riches ending, certainly doesn't parallel what we see of reality.

And yet it resonates.

I don't know if you've ever found this, but there can be times when fiction seems to expose a truer truth, a higher reality than we see with our eyes. Through words penned by another soul, longings are awakened for a country beyond imagination, a place we inexplicably know is home.

Perhaps it is because we belong to such a story.

It is written - written for us, written of us. The cynics may scoff, but there is a spotless bride, a coming King, a sleeper who was awakened, a love that is real. God is the ultimate author of all that is good. When our souls are stirred with the beauty of a well-crafted tale, perhaps it is because it is a reflection, in some vague way, of the story He has written. Even when reality shatters romantic idealism, there is an unseen reality that shines to defy the impossible, to redeem the irredeemable.

Existence would be flat and lifeless unless it was embodied by story. We do not read only the last page, when Prince Charming appears to rescue the princess and they ride off into the sunset to live happily ever after. The biting of our nails when the challenges seem insurmountable, the mirth of watching the hapless hero bumbling about, the bright fairy-tale colours on every page - these exist for a purpose of no less beauty. While prone to sin and human error, and having been used for ignoble purposes, God has gifted us with imagination and emotion because they are good. Thoughts and feelings have a purpose, meaning, and beauty - they are not reduced in meaning simply because of the greater, overarching story.

Likewise, the love of God exists not only for a certain end, but during every moment - He loves us not for what we can perform, but at every moment, and in every season - and for each moment there is a purpose, not only as a means to the end, but because God has breathed intrinsic value into every instant of time. There is a Story of greater beauty than any that has ever been penned by men, which is lived by everyone who believes. Abraham and Sarah, living in tents in the wilderness, looked ahead to the days of the unseen, promised city. Moses, a prince of Egypt, turned his back on earthly treasure to seek the reward of heaven. Rahab, a prostitute, was declared righteous for her belief and given a place of honor as an ancestor of the Messiah. A great cloud of witnesses goes before us, testifying to His glory, which outshines the value of anything real or imagined.

So let us imagine, let us dream, but oh! May we know the firm reality, the infinite depths of what exists for us in Christ. May we live, truly live, knowing that the great King is coming soon! The greatest love has come, chains are being undone, and we have a battle to fight!

Reflections of Reality

A thrill runs through you when, amidst the fog of false illusion, you catch a glimpse of the reflection, clearly outlined in colour against a background of gray. For only a moment it remains visible before the image fades, but this unimaginable reality remains etched upon your soul as if you have suddenly been awoken from a lifetime of death. That single beam of light, caught for a moment, is enough to convey purpose, eternity, reality - where they never before existed.

The star, which they had seen in the east, went on before them until it came and stood over the place where the Child was. When they saw the star, they rejoiced exceedingly with great joy. (Matt 2:9-10)

How could pain or mourning ever shake us again? We have partaken of the water our souls were born thirsting for, and one day we will see the Light our eyes hunger for, for this Light has been born in us. Now that our eyes have once beheld it, we begin to see the Light reflecting on the surface of the lake at sunset. We see it falling dappled on the ground through leafy canopies. It is reflected in the pain-filled eyes of the little boy who speaks of love, of Jesus, while he lies helplessly trapped within a web of IV tubes and monitors. It is in the sublime simplicity of a child's heartfelt prayer. We receive a glimpse of the Light that came, but this is not satisfaction - it is longing, a joyful longing perfected by unassailable hope.

I am the Light of the world; he who follows Me will not walk in the darkness, but will have the Light of life. (John 8:12)

How dreadful to look once and soon forget, but how marvelous to see and remember - to savor and anticipate the culmination of what is promised us forever. And this brings humility, because we realize that we do not see as He sees. we do not see all things, but God has promised to one day reveal all things to us, for He has given His son - the manifestation of his glory.

In Him was life, and the life was the Light of men. The Light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it. (John 1:4-5) 

And yet we have been chosen to see Him who is the radiance of His glory, all because He came to us.  How can we understand this, when we have not yet seen Him in the flesh? How can we fathom it? How can we know it to be true?

We have received not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may know the things freely given to us by God. (1 Cor 2:12)

The unseen has been revealed, because the Spirit of Christ, God himself, lives in us!

For a child will be born to us, a son will be given to us;
And the government will rest on His shoulders;
And His name will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Eternal Father, Prince of Peace. (Isa 9:6)

This Christmas, in each heart who has been reborn, may every reflection of His glory cause us to long for the day in which we see Him. Jesus, who came to this world as Light wrapped in human flesh, is our salvation and our eternal ambition. No mirror reflects an image unless the light is present. May His Light ever shine within us. Look for Him, and rejoice in Him!

"Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known." (1 Cor 13:12)

Encouraging Video - Proverbs 31

Just ran across this today... a bit of encouragement and a challenge for the young men and women of today. Let's think about and pursue what really has value.

Consider the lilies...

Would you believe I took these pictures only last week?

They're still out there blooming in the garden, despite the frosty nights. :)

It was a perfect evening to take the camera out,

capturing the resilient, transient beauty.

 

The nasturtiums bejeweled by afternoon showers...

A perfect little fairy mirror...

"He has made everything beautiful in its time." (Ecc 3:11a)

"The grass withers, the flower fades, But the word of our God stands forever." (Isa 40:8)

Beautiful.

A Downhere Kind of Day

It's a beautiful day today. A turkey-sandwich-and-chocolate-milk kind of day. Peanut butter chocolate chip cookie for dessert? Sure, why not!  I'm looking out my window as the green turns to orange in the trees and the wispy blue sky continues to turn above me.  I love these stay-at-home days.  I just bought Downhere's album "The Altar of Love" and I'm listening to it as I'm researching my History essay. Good stuff. It's a Downhere kind of day.

Giving Thanks

Today was Thanksgiving here in Canada.  God has given so many things to be thankful for! On Sunday, my family and I went out for a hike.  It was so beautiful.  The leaves were beginning to fall from the trees, but many of them were still green, translucent with the sun filtering softly through them.

{the beauty of creation}

{changing seasons}

{breathing lungfuls of clean, crisp air}

{the happy ache of tired muscles}

 {family}

{laughter}

{friendship}

{love - 1 Jn 4:19}

{books}

{creativity}

{music}

{freedom}

{a warm and happy home}

{food... even though I'm too stuffed right now}

{chocolate - yes in a different category than food :P}

{the body of Christ}

{the Word of God}

{salvation}

"Oh give thanks to the LORD, call upon His name;

Make known His deeds among the peoples.
Sing to Him, sing praises to Him;
Speak of all His wonders.
Glory in His holy name;
Let the heart of those who seek the LORD be glad.
Seek the LORD and His strength;
Seek His face continually.
Remember His wonderful deeds which He has done!"

(1 Chronicles 16:8-12a)

Welcome, October

I can't believe we're well into October already! I must say, I love this time of year.  There is something so invigorating about the chill that begins to put an edge in the air, causing the scarves and sweaters to find their way into wardrobes once again. Oh, and yes, in case you're wondering, I did just edit my blog design a little bit. I was getting tired of the blue, and I'm liking the neutral thing for fall. :)

October always brings a sort of rhythm to routine.  The textbooks, so exciting when opened for the first time, have finally showed their true colours, be it for good or ill.  This school year has felt different in some ways, but I'm still with the same school, working with the same teachers, so it hasn't quite registered that I graduated in June (though it's not official until I finish this extra course).  Honestly, I'm happy to still be studying - I'm finding my History course pretty fascinating... though I am beginning to look forward to finishing and moving on to university. :)

I'm thankful my schedule isn't too crazy this year, because even though I always end up busier than I expected, I have some extra time for studying my Bible and reading books that have been on my list for a while.  Like Francis Chan's "Erasing Hell" - more on that coming soon. You see, I don't want to become dead to things that are difficult to understand - even though it's so much easier to ignore them.  I've been reading a number of books recently that have expounded on topics I agree with, but don't necessarily like to dwell on.  They've brought up the big questions in life - things like, "why would a loving God send people to hell?" and, "why does God choose some and not others?" Again and again, I am brought face to face with old realities that I am only slowly coming to embrace with my heart and life.  Oh how I want to go beyond academic acknowledgement and lay my all down for a God who is greater than I can fathom.

God has given so many blessings - times of rest and reassurance, and the continually growing knowledge that the Lord is my shepherd. For those of us in Canada, Thanksgiving is this weekend. I have so much to be thankful for. Truly. May I never lose sight of the precious gospel in the midst of this abundance - I need nothing else.

Some Encouragement for Pursuing Modesty

I have been so encouraged by Melanie's blog, Forever His Servant, since I stumbled across it about a month ago.  God has really spoken to my heart through her evident passion for the Lord, and the things she has shared.  Modesty is an issue that is so important for Christian young women, and I feel that it is often dismissed or taken lightly.  In the past, I did not always hold modesty highly.  I had certain standards, but it wasn't a deep heart desire to love God and love my brothers in Christ by truly pursuing modesty.  As God has drawn my heart closer to Him, I have been convicted of my tendency to compare myself to others in order to justify my clothing choices.  Sometimes even my choices to dress modestly have been the result of peer pressure rather than a true heart desire.

1 Corinthians 13:1-3,13 says, "If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. ²If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. ³And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing... ¹³But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love."

Modesty profits us little if it is not done in a spirit of love for our Lord and our brothers.  On the other hand, it is of little use to say that modesty is an issue of the heart and fail to apply it to our dress and conduct, as Melanie states in the following videos.  I hope you will take the time to watch them and be challenged.

A Woman's Highest Calling

The highest calling for Christian women is not to be a wife, mother and homemaker.

Perhaps some of you were a little shocked by that statement.  Good.  That was my intent.  ;)  I will explain what I mean in a moment, but first for a little bit of clarification.

I believe that feminism is a dangerous inversion of a woman's biblical calling.  The biblical calling for women is to fill the God-given role of being a wife, mother, and homemaker.  While not all women will be married, they are still to act as women.  Our society is falling apart because both men and women have lost their sense of place and purpose.  Women want to be self-fulfilled by pursuing careers, but they often end up debilitating men from fulfilling their masculine role, which is to provide and protect.  Many women feel they have the potential and ability to fill less "traditional" roles.  These "career women" seek dominant positions, giving up their purpose as nurturers and managers of their homes to become driven, manipulative, and business-oriented.  The next generation faces the fate of being lost and motherless, passed from school to day care and seeing their parents only after they have been worn out by a busy work-day and just want to plunk down in front of the TV.  There are many other detrimental side-effects to a feminist society, but I will leave that for another time.

In the end, the lie of feminism comes down to pride.  We want to prove that we are just as good or better than men.  We reject the protection and provision of men because we want the pride of doing things ourselves.  Men are rebuffed and scorned when they so much as open a door for a lady.  Little wonder that godly manhood is little to be seen in our culture.  Pride.  We want what seems best to us, rather than what is best for others.  We want to be higher, to be able to support ourselves, rather than letting men have a position of dominance.   A biblical view of relationships shows there is protection when we place ourselves under God-ordained authority.  We can rest in the place in which God has put us, knowing that our authorities are ultimately responsible to Him, whether they be parents, husbands, teachers, pastors, or governments.  There are a few verses that speak strongly into this issue that I believe are worth sharing:

1 Peter 3:1-5a - "Wives, in the same way [as Jesus submitted himself to death] submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.  Your beauty [...] should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves."

"For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted." Matthew 23:12

"This is the one I esteem: he who is humble and contrite in spirit, and trembles at my word." Is 66:2   

From these verses, one can see that being a wife and mother is not the highest calling for women.  "What!?" you ask?  Indeed, our HIGHEST calling is to humble ourselves on behalf of others, for the sake of our Lord.  In these verses, God is calling all people, including women, to a life that is poured out for him - a life that strives to emulate the humility and love of Jesus.  I would love to be a wife and mother someday, but my highest calling, now and forever, is to pour my life out in love for Christ.

My prayer is to be shaped into the image of my Savior.

My desire is to become a more transparent vessel of Immanuel.

I long to be consumed by the fire of the Holy Spirit and present the ashes of my life as an acceptable aroma to my Lord.  Hebrews 12:18-29 - "Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, for our 'God is a consuming fire.'"