Reflections of Reality

A thrill runs through you when, amidst the fog of false illusion, you catch a glimpse of the reflection, clearly outlined in colour against a background of gray. For only a moment it remains visible before the image fades, but this unimaginable reality remains etched upon your soul as if you have suddenly been awoken from a lifetime of death. That single beam of light, caught for a moment, is enough to convey purpose, eternity, reality - where they never before existed.

The star, which they had seen in the east, went on before them until it came and stood over the place where the Child was. When they saw the star, they rejoiced exceedingly with great joy. (Matt 2:9-10)

How could pain or mourning ever shake us again? We have partaken of the water our souls were born thirsting for, and one day we will see the Light our eyes hunger for, for this Light has been born in us. Now that our eyes have once beheld it, we begin to see the Light reflecting on the surface of the lake at sunset. We see it falling dappled on the ground through leafy canopies. It is reflected in the pain-filled eyes of the little boy who speaks of love, of Jesus, while he lies helplessly trapped within a web of IV tubes and monitors. It is in the sublime simplicity of a child's heartfelt prayer. We receive a glimpse of the Light that came, but this is not satisfaction - it is longing, a joyful longing perfected by unassailable hope.

I am the Light of the world; he who follows Me will not walk in the darkness, but will have the Light of life. (John 8:12)

How dreadful to look once and soon forget, but how marvelous to see and remember - to savor and anticipate the culmination of what is promised us forever. And this brings humility, because we realize that we do not see as He sees. we do not see all things, but God has promised to one day reveal all things to us, for He has given His son - the manifestation of his glory.

In Him was life, and the life was the Light of men. The Light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it. (John 1:4-5) 

And yet we have been chosen to see Him who is the radiance of His glory, all because He came to us.  How can we understand this, when we have not yet seen Him in the flesh? How can we fathom it? How can we know it to be true?

We have received not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may know the things freely given to us by God. (1 Cor 2:12)

The unseen has been revealed, because the Spirit of Christ, God himself, lives in us!

For a child will be born to us, a son will be given to us;
And the government will rest on His shoulders;
And His name will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Eternal Father, Prince of Peace. (Isa 9:6)

This Christmas, in each heart who has been reborn, may every reflection of His glory cause us to long for the day in which we see Him. Jesus, who came to this world as Light wrapped in human flesh, is our salvation and our eternal ambition. No mirror reflects an image unless the light is present. May His Light ever shine within us. Look for Him, and rejoice in Him!

"Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known." (1 Cor 13:12)

Purpose

I've been really wanting to evaluate why I do what I do. Lately, I've been thinking on whether my purpose and meaning are found in the right things. I want each area of my life to honour my King - thought and action, word and deed. I know that there will continually be areas in which the Lord molds and convicts. It certainly brings humility to realize that at no one time in this life will I have it all together or achieve perfection. Truly, I must be realizing that more and more everyday - but the amazing part is that God accepts me, a sinner, because of Jesus' spilled blood.

I've just been asking myself why I blog. Certainly, the answer is complicated. I know there aren't a lot of people reading this, but I want those who do so to be pointed to Christ above anything else. There are a lot of great blogs out there, and it's really easy to compare myself and feel pretty pathetic, or jealous, or just plain boring... :P How horrible that trap can be! Personally, I want my little space on the net to be a place where I can share what I'm thinking about, what God is teaching me, a bit of my everyday life, and hopefully edify those who stop by. Never do I want to be a slave to anything of this world, least of all my blog.

Still, I love to write. While there are things that can't be put into words and some which simply don't need to be, within that jumble of hodge-podge thoughts and emotions, we have a desire for expression. It's difficult to formulate sometimes, but I know how cleansing it can be to write out thoughts and ideas, instead of having them bounce around unnamed in the vapours of cognizance. Even here, however, there is tension between word and intent, thought and action. Sure, expression is all well and good, but there are still the questions of what and why. And the answer should never be "because that's what I think, and that's the way I like it," but seeking what God thinks, and expressing it in a way that glorifies Him. Oh, I certainly have not achieved that, but I want to make it my goal.

Yes, I do believe that is the summary of what I want my life to be - seeking to know my God more, and to glorify Him in all things. And in writing all this out (you should get a prize if you read this far :P) I think it's more solidified in my mind.

And again I am reminded of these wonderful verses in Colossians 1:9b-10:

"We have not ceased to pray for you and to ask that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so that you will walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, to please Him in all respects, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God."

That is the prayer I have for my own life, and for all who have been raised to life in Christ. May we walk in a manner worthy of Him, by His grace.

Eternity

This is a post that has been a long time in coming. Partly because it's going to talk about some things I'm not so excited to bring up. But at the same time, God is using them to transform my heart, and yes, I am excited about that.  In case you're wondering, this is kind of a book review, but more what God has been teaching me through His Word, as well as through Francis Chan's book, "Erasing Hell".

I am so overwhelmed by who God is - so in awe, though not fully comprehending; so in love, though without His grace I could not love.  I just finished reading "Erasing Hell" by Francis Chan last week.  The last chapters broke through to me so clearly with the message that I do not worship a God who is created or confined to an image in my imagination, or even who submits to what I see as right and wrong.  Once again, the Holy Spirit is lifting me beyond my comfortable patterns of thinking about and relating to God.

Take the doctrine of Hell.  I have always believed it existed, always taken the scriptures to mean what they say... tacked it on as a part of my truth paradigm... But somehow it has always remained one of those half-dead doctrines that make up academic knowledge but isn't wrestled with enough to set ablaze the fire of awe and worship of the King.  Reading "Erasing Hell" helped me finally move beyond that as I came to the realization that hell and judgment are aspects of the real, personal God I love and adore.

If you are expecting a detailed, exhaustive look at the subject of hell, this isn't going to be that book.  If, however, you are interested in gaining a basic understanding of the biblical and contextual arguments for the main viewpoints that are floating around nowadays, this will give a brief and thoughtful overview. The first several chapters address the main approaches to judgment among Christians, comparing each view with scripture and historical Jewish context. One point I found interesting was the dispelling of the myth that "Gehenna" was the town garbage dump. The final chapters were the most impacting to me, as Francis Chan humbly confessed his own conflict in coming to grips with the theology of hell and shared again the image of the Potter and the clay. I was led to pure worship of the God I can't measure or contain.  God is God.

But you see, I don't understand. I really don't. And this highlights a huge problem in today's church - we tend to sweep what we can't understand or explain under the rug - whether it's the doctrine of the trinity, or predestination, or hell. This must not be. Personally, I know that it's when I pull out those questions and dig into what the Bible really has to say, wrestling with the things my mind rebels at and allowing myself to seek the answers to hard questions, that I truly grow deeper in my dependence upon God. While there are things I may never fully understand, I am able to accept them because of my relationship with the Creator. As Christians, our view of God is magnified when we are able to see his indescribable attributes and simply trust and worship him in the midst of our veiled humanity. I don't know what it was exactly, but somehow this recent reminder of God's greatness as displayed by His wrath and compassion enlarged my view of God in a way that touched my heart and magnified my worship, not just as something to be mentally computed and put aside.

Out of this, I've been feeling such a beautiful juxtaposition of joy and sorrow - overwhelming joy in the knowledge and worship of God, and a greater sorrow and urgency for those who run blindly into judgment.  Just as I am spurred on by a longing for heaven, I should be spurred on by this knowledge of hell.  I am so guilty of living as if I did not believe, frozen by fear. You see, I want to live firmly in reality - not what this world sees, but what He sees and who He is.

Grace of the Commonplace

I was laying in bed late last night, thinking and praying... examining my own heart.  I was able to do some reading on our trip, having bought "Crazy Love" and "Erasing Hell" by Francis Chan in Lyndon.  I read "Crazy Love" while we were on the road, and my mom would occasionally read a chapter from "Erasing Hell" or an entry from Oswald Chambers' "My Utmost For His Highest".  For those of you who have read these books, you know that they do not contain easy things.  My heart was changed and convicted as I again realized the greatness of my God, my great inadequacy, and the cost and beauty of my calling. There is no way I could ever change myself - to somehow live up to the perfection of who Christ is. If I see myself as able to stand, I am gravely mistaken. I am swept away in the flood, on my face before a holy God, who gave His life to make me His child.  And so I am continually learning, growing in understanding, in the knowledge of my Saviour, and to this there will be no end.  But with each new insight, I pray that I will not merely hear, but that my life would be transformed.  These past few days, I've been thinking a lot about self-consciousness, insecurity, and pride.  All of those go hand in hand, and I struggle with each one.

Last night I was thinking of how I can so often separate myself from the life of Christ in me.  I realized that the things which I see as being to my account are in reality discounted.  As soon as I do something to which I associate a reward, I have begun to rely on myself and give in to pride. I had to ask myself, "Am I the judge of how effective I am as a Christian, or is God?"  Am I rewarded based on the knowledge that I somehow blessed the life of so-and-so?  If that were true, I would have already received my reward in full. 

During our holiday, Mom would often read a devotion from Oswald Chambers' "My Utmost for His Highest".  The August 21st entry really spoke to my heart on this issue.  I have copied it below.

"Blessed are the poor in spirit." Matthew 5:3

The New Testament notices things which from our standards do not seem to count. "Blessed are the poor in spirit," literally - Blessed are the paupers - an exceedingly commonplace thing! The preaching of to-day is apt to emphasize strength of will, beauty of character - the things that are easily noticed. The phrase we hear so often, Decide for Christ, is an emphasis on something Our Lord never trusted. He never asks us to decide for Him, but to yield to Him - a very different thing. At the basis of Jesus Christ's Kingdom is the unaffected loveliness of the commonplace. The thing I am blessed in is my poverty. If I know I have no strength of will, no nobility of disposition, then Jesus says - Blessed are you, because it is through this poverty that I enter His Kingdom. I cannot enter His Kingdom as a good man or woman, I can only enter it as a complete pauper.

The true character of the loveliness that tells for God is always unconscious. Conscious influence is priggish and un-Christian. If I say - I wonder if I am of any use - I instantly lose the bloom of the touch of the Lord. "He that believeth in me, out of him shall flow rivers of living water." If I examine the outflow, I lose the touch of the Lord.

Which are the people who have influenced us most? Not the ones who thought they did, but those who had not the remotest notion that they were influencing us. In the Christian life the implicit is never conscious, if it is conscious it ceases to have this unaffected loveliness which is the characteristic of the touch of Jesus. We always know when Jesus is at work because He produces in the commonplace something that is inspiring.

A quote from the previous day sums this up well, "Christ-consciousness will take the place of self-consciousness. Wherever Jesus comes He establishes rest, the rest of the perfection of activity that is never conscious of itself."  If it is God who judges and rewards, I will be eternally blessed, not by deeds consciously done in my own strength, but by things done in the unconscious life of the Spirit of God, of which God alone knows the effects and the rewards.

In the end, it comes down to pride. Isn't it such a struggle? I have heard many of you express the difficulties of the battle - but I am so encouraged knowing that we are fighting it, facing it.  And yet, you see, this too poses a problem in my mind.  If we think we can beat pride by simply mustering up the strength to fight it, we will only find ourselves entrenched more deeply.  When we feel that we have become less proud, that is when we are most proud.  As Oswald Chambers alluded to, the only true humility is "unconscious" humility.  If I begin to focus on the overflow, rather than the Fount, it becomes mine rather than His, polluted and worthless.  Jesus said in John 4:14, "Whoever drinks of the water that I will give him shall never thirst; but the water that I will give him will become in him a well of water springing up to eternal life.”  Who will seek this water but the one who recognizes their thirst?  Likewise, we must remember always that it is God who is at work in us - it is the overflow of His grace that proclaims His glory. 

As 1 Corinthians 13 shows, love is ultimately self-less.  It is love that we must walk in, for love "does not seek its own."  Galatians 5:6 says that the only thing that is of any value is "faith expressing itself through love." (NIV)

"If anyone supposes that he knows anything,

he has not yet known as he ought to know;

but if anyone loves God, he is known by Him."

(1 Cor 8:2-3) 

"For it is not he who commends himself that is approved,

but he whom the Lord commends." (2 Cor 10:18) 

"For the love of Christ controls us, having concluded this,

that one died for all, therefore all died; and He died for all, 

so that they who live might no longer live for themselves,

but for Him who died and rose again on their behalf." 

(2 Cor 5:14-15)

There is a mysterious and beautiful complexity to the surrender we are called to.  While dying, we live - not by the merit of our death, but His life.  May it be that we would never attempt to commend ourselves to the Lord, but instead be overwhelmed by the Savior's love, longing to serve Him with true devotion.  It is the Lord God who has approved us in Christ, so that we would be controlled by the love of Christ. He knows us! Incredibly, He chooses to use our lives for His purposes, but we must realize the truth that He is not dependent on us, or even on our obedience. Yet, by Him, we live, and are empowered by the Spirit to no longer live for ourselves! This is the work of God alone, and is deserving of our praise. It is my prayer that we would grow in the knowledge of this great Saviour, to the praise of His grace. "He must increase, but I must decrease."

Lavished

Family camp and youth camp were such fun, refreshing times.  Fellowshiping and worshiping with the body of Christ... lots of volleyball...  I'm definitely a liability, not an asset, when it comes to sports, but there were plenty of other things to do. :P  Such beautiful weather God gave us!  Only Sunday was a bit rainy, but I found reason to be thankful for all the rain we've had this summer, because the fire risk is low and campfires were allowed this year!  Oh how He blessed my heart that weekend... through the created beauty of His majesty revealed, the opportunities to encourage and be encouraged.  Three days after family camp ended, youth camp began. 

I was praying before and during those days at camp, that God would work in the hearts and lives of those who came, to build up each one and bring some to salvation, praying for many by name.  I prayed for myself as well, because I'd been feeling distant and discouraged, and I so wanted to be brought nearer to my Jesus.  The second morning at camp, as I spent a few quiet moments in my Bible, I read Ephesians 1.  Oh how the words washed over my soul, answering my prayer for God to "restore to me the joy of my salvation..." (Ps 51:12).  I'd been struggling with the nagging, subconscious thoughts that God doesn't truly, fully love or accept me... that somehow He's distanced himself or has turned away in disinterest.  Of course I'd never really believe that if I actually thought about it, but those are the subtle lies that float around like a vapour, without shape or substance, poisoning my heart.  Have you read Ephesians 1 recently?  Just read some of these verses...

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ... In love he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that he lavished on us." (Ephesians 1:3-8, select verses)

Wow.  He was thinking of love from the beginning of eternity, thinking of us, of me... His blood was shed, freely given in the One he loves... oh what riches! "Lavished." A perfect word.  Oh, but wait until you read these next verses, in Ephesians 1:18-20,

"I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is the same as the mighty strength he exerted when he raised Christ from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms."

Unimaginable. Truly. I'm humbled by the greatness of that power, the riches that are extended to one so poor as I. Each night after campfire as I walked up to the washroom to brush my teeth before bed, I would stop in the quiet darkness to look up and worship. What a Creator we serve! Each point of light, far above me in the heavens, crying forth the glory of God... like pinpricks to my eyes, but in reality larger than my mind could fathom.

image credit

Oh how gracious our God is! Not only did He speak to my heart and strengthen my spirit, He further answered my prayers and brought another soul into His kingdom that weekend. Oh how precious salvation is... I was truly overwhelmed with it... with the enormity of it, the praise of such a gracious redemption. My heart did not cease to sing those lines from Amazing Grace,

'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,

And grace my fears relieved;

How precious did that grace appear,

The hour I first believ'd!

Perhaps it sometimes grows less precious to us due to time, but oh how we need to remember the wonder, the freshness of that first hour... the wonder of new birth - a new creation! Surely that is not something commonplace.  When I sing of it, when I read of it in His word, may it not be merely words, but an expression of the wonder and glory of this great redemption.  Undeserving, lost, His enemy, but given all things in Christ, our Saviour.

Truly, we are loved. Lavished.

The Scent of Lavender

A couple Saturdays ago, I found this green vase at a garage sale.  I seem to have a strong attraction to green glassware.  After scrubbing my find, it sat empty for a while.  My darling Mumsy knows how I love lavender, and I was pleasantly surprised to see a sweet little bouquet on my dresser as I went to bed one night.  I bent over to smell the fresh blossoms... nothing.  How could this be!?  These perfect flowers had just insulted my nose with their lack of scent, and there they sat, smugly smiling up at this poor, disappointed girl.

The next morning I thanked my mom for her thoughtfulness in putting the flowers in my room, and she mentioned that I should crush the blossoms a bit so that they would release their scent.  I did so, and that night I inhaled their fragrance while I had my devotions.  It set me to thinking.  God usually gives me a verse in my head, and I go from there.  This time it was Isaiah 42:3 "A bruised reed He will not break And a dimly burning wick He will not extinguish;" If God wishes me to be a fragrant aroma, I too must be crushed.  I must be broken.  The following verses describe well what we are called to be.

"Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma."  (Ephesians 5:1-2)

"For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing." (2 Corinthians 2:15)


The aroma of Christ... what does that mean?  It must mean that we "smell" like Him.  To start with, there are some major clues in the verses above.  We are to be "imitators of God", to "walk in love", to be an "offering and a sacrifice to God", and to share the knowledge of Him with this world.  None of these things, however, can be accomplished if we simply sit like perfect blossoms, untouched and untouchable, entirely content with ourselves, unable to extend grace to those who come near enough to seek the divine aroma.

No, to be these things, we must first be broken.  To be honest, my flesh rebels against that.  I like being right, being strong, being adequate.  But my spirit rejoices in brokenness, because it is life to me.  Never has the Lord turned me away when I have come to Him broken over my sin, realizing again the rawness and reality of my need for the cross.  Always, my wounded heart is bound up, my guilt is forgiven, and I am left with the overwhelming joy of worshiping my Savior with clean hands and a pure heart that were washed by His blood.

I had a couple hours last week to read through Isaiah and journal for a while after I put the little guy I was looking after to bed (who, ironically, is named Isaiah).  Such beautiful promises and gentle rebuke the Lord gave to my heart that night!  Isaiah is one of my favorite books because of how clearly the nature of God is revealed.  His attributes are like a perfect diamond - each facet reflecting and enhancing the others to display the brilliant whole.  That evening, I was given a deeper understanding into God's righteous wrath, perfect justice, and incredible mercy.  The words of scripture are perfect, showing the error of the proud and showing grace and hope to the humble.

"For thus says the high and exalted One
Who lives forever, whose name is Holy,
'I dwell on a high and holy place,
And also with the contrite and lowly of spirit
In order to revive the spirit of the lowly
And to revive the heart of the contrite.'" (Isaiah 57:15)


"Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes
And clever in their own sight!"(Isaiah 5:21)

“For My hand made all these things,
Thus all these things came into being,” declares the LORD.
“But to this one I will look,
To him who is humble and contrite of spirit, and who trembles at My word." (Isaiah 66:2)



To be raised, we must realize our lowness before a great God.  Christ himself is our greatest example.  He humbled himself to the point of His death, to achieve the glorious resurrection of many for the praise of His name.  In my own experience, it is when I feel like I'm doing just fine, when I become self-satisfied, that my relationship with Christ grows shallow.  I begin to forget that everything I am is from Him.  The reason I am writing this today, is because the Lord is reminding me of these very things.  So as I walk into my room tonight, where the crushed lavender is filling the room with the fresh fragrance of death, I will remember that life is poured out of the dying.  The seed of life has been planted in my heart, and "unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit." (John 12:24)  That is my prayer for myself and for all to whom His life has been given.

Center Stage

I'm always so encouraged when I find music that is truly Christ-centered and biblically sound... even in the so-called Christian music industry, this is seldom the case.  I recently discovered Jimmy Needham, an artist who is intent on making Christ famous.  I enjoyed playing some of his tunes today while running my brother and I to music lessons.  The air conditioning wasn't working, so the other drivers got to hear some truth through our open car windows. ;)  Sure beats a lot of the offensive stuff we hear on the streets in the summertime!

I'm really enjoying the album Nightlights, because it has so much variety... each of the tracks has its own blend of styles.  I love the lyrics in "Grace Amazing".  I'm not sure if I've ever heard a song that puts the words of Ephesians 2:1-5 so plainly... "you were dead in your trespasses and sins".  Jimmy Needham wrote a blog post about the song, and I'd highly recommend reading it (here) and listening to the song - it truly is refreshing and powerful to hear that marvelous gospel truth of God's grace, without all the "fuzzy stuff".  "Part the Clouds" is another song that has some really solid lyrics.

This living water will not quench us
If it's watered down
It's not our place to hide again
This treasure that we've found

We might as well just fold our hands
If we can't call a spade a spade
Cuz we will miss the heart each time
If we won't ever shoot them straight
These pleasantries shading me and you too
Let's part the clouds

And show the world the Son

Anyways, the music may or may not be your style, but I'm enjoying it, and I'm thanking God, who in His grace has raised up servants to speak truth in this dark world.  Needham himself has said, "the most dangerous place for the human heart is on stage".  I pray that ambassadors for Christ who have been called to that position would seek to bring God glory and not themselves.

This poem is the last track on the album Nightlights, and I think it has the power to convict each one of us of our infatuation with self.  May God alone receive the glory!  He needs to take center stage - we're just the stage hands, who are called to shine our "nightlights" to point to the blazing Son.

Be Thou exalted over my reputation

‘Cause applause is a poor form of soul medication

And I’ve tried it for years but my symptoms remain

Still fretting the day that they’ll misplace my name

Still selling my soul for American fame

Treating the promotion of Jesus like a well oiled machine

Advancing His kingdom just to snag some acclaim

Now, I’m both comforted and haunted that it isn’t just me though

I see a nation of people needing to feed their own egos

Parading status like steeples

Do we not know it’s evil to love ourselves more than both God and His people?

But see, here’s where you turn this poem on it’s head

‘Cause the greatest among us came as servant instead

And You humbled Yourself to the point of Your death

Apparently love for the Father’s glory runs red

So friends, will we point to the Son till our own flames grow dim?

Will our bright lights become merely nightlights near Him?

Words echoed once, let them echo again

Be Thou exalted over my reputation

The Letters of C.S. Lewis

My mom gave me a book of C.S. Lewis' "Letters to an American Lady" last month for my birthday, and I've been finding them most interesting.  It's been great getting to know the real Jack Lewis, the person behind the literature I love.

Here are a few quotes that stuck out to me.  Enjoy!

His humility and honesty:

June 16, 1953

"One of the things that make it easier to believe in Providence is the fact that in all trains, hotels, restaurants, and other public places I have only once seen a stranger reading a book of mine, tho' my friends encounter this phenomenon fairly often.  Things are really fairly well arranged."

Spiritual depth of insight:

27/xi/53

"Anxiety is not only a pain which we must ask God to assuage

but also a weakness we must ask Him to pardon."

May 30th, 1953

"If I were a parson, I should always try to dwell on the faults of the clergy:

being a layman, I think it more wholesome to concentrate on those of the laity.

I am rather sick of the modern assumption that, for all events,

'WE', the people, are never responsible:

it is always our rulers, or ancestors, or parents, or education, or anybody but precious 'US'.

WE are apparently perfect and blameless.  Don't you believe it."

Nov 1st 54

"The allegorical sense of [Mary Magdalene's] great action dawned on me the other day.

The precious alabaster box which one must break over the Holy Feet is one's heart.

Easier said than done.  And the contents become perfume only when it is broken.  

While they are safe inside they are more like sewage.  

All very alarming."

And jolly good sense of humour:

March 10/54

"Verily 'He that but looketh on a plate of ham and eggs to lust after it,

hath already committed breakfast with it in his heart.'"

21/3/55

"We were talking about cats and dogs the other day and decided that both have a conscience

but the dog, being an honest, humble person, always has a bad one, 

but the cat is a Pharisee and always has a good one.

When he sits and stares you out of countenance

he is thanking God that he is not as these dogs,or these humans,

or even as these other cats!"

Peter's Perspective - The Passover Lamb (Sunday)

Jesus' body had been taken down and buried in the grave of a secret disciple, Joseph of Arimathea.  I spent the Sabbath with John, Mary, and several other disciples in a house just outside the city.  It was now Sunday morning, the first day of the week, and John and I sat on the doorstep of the house in the predawn light, quietly discussing the departed Messiah.

 

John looked up to the distant hills, where the shepherds were already bringing their sheep out to pasture.  "He said He was the Good Shepherd who laid His life down for His sheep."

"How could a shepherd lay his life down as if he was a sheep himself?  Jesus was slaughtered like a passover lamb!"

"He is God, Peter.  Anyone who has heard Him knows it.  Do you remember during the Feast of Dedication, when He said, 'I and the Father are one'?  He said He was giving us eternal life, and that we would never be taken from Him."

"But He has been snatched from us," I said flatly.

John simply looked into the sun and said nothing.  I could tell that he was trying to hold back the emotions of  grief from the way his jaw was working.

He finally looked at me, and said, "When He sent us out, He said, 'not even a sparrow falls to the ground apart from your Father.'"  Unshed tears glistened in his eyes and I looked away as the rest of the Jesus' words from that parting speech came to my mind, and pierced my guilty heart.

"Everyone who confesses Me before men, I will also confess him before My Father who is in heaven. But whoever denies Me before men, I will also deny him before My Father who is in heaven... he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me."

As we sat there in silence, a figure were seen running down the road toward the house.  As it drew nearer, I saw that it was Mary of Magdala.  She was weeping and out of breath, but she conveyed her message between sobbing gasps.  "They have taken away the Lord out of the tomb, and we do not know where they have laid Him!"  John and I immediately stood and rushed to the tomb the way she had come, leaving her to catch her breath.  John reached the place of the opened tomb first, and stood looking in.  I quickly caught up and rushed inside.  I was startled to see the linen wrappings neatly folded, and the face-cloth rolled up beside them.  We did not know what to make of this, but returned to the house to tell the other disciples what we had seen.  Mary had again left to mourn at the tomb, but she was seen not long afterward, racing up the road toward the house.  I stepped out to receive her, but instead of sorrow, her face radiated with joy.  "I have seen the Lord!"

Later that evening, we were still reeling with the news of Jesus' appearance to Mary.  All of the disciples kept asking Mary questions like, "Are you sure it was Him?" and "What did He look like?".  We had locked the doors in fear that the Jewish leaders would arrest us if they heard that we were spreading tales of a resurrection.  Even we did not fully believe it.

The meal was almost finished when a man appeared in our midst.  I almost fell from my chair when I saw that it was Jesus.  We all worshiped Him, and praised God, overcome by joy and amazement.  He reproached us for our lack of belief, showing us His hands and side that were pierced.  "The scriptures have said that the Christ would suffer and rise again from the dead the third day, and that repentance for forgiveness of sins would be proclaimed in His name to all the nations, beginning from Jerusalem."  He asked for a piece of fish, and He ate in in front of us, proving that He was indeed alive.

Alive!  Truly alive!  My joy was suddenly stripped from me as I realized that I could never serve Him in the same way again.  I looked down at the table as the others exalted the living Lord.

"Peter."  It was His voice!  So commanding, and yet filled with infinite kindness.  "Peter, do you still not believe?"

He caught the attention of the gathering with a glance, and began to teach us.  "What does the Passover lamb represent?"

John answered, "It was the ransom of the first born in Egypt."

"Yes.  It is a sign of coming redemption of all who are atoned for by its blood.  I am the Lamb who takes away the sins of the world.  Peter, do you believe?"

Oh Lord, help me believe!  I was overcome by the sense of my own guilt and shame before Him, and covered my face helplessly with my hands.  "Peter," He whispered, putting His hand on my shoulder.

"Forgive me," I said brokenly.

"By these wounds, you are healed." He again held his wounded hands out to me.  "What the blood of goats and sheep could not take away, My blood has washed clean."  At these words, it was as if my heart was flooded with light.  Something had changed inside of me, and I knew that I would never be the same.  No longer was I bound to my own strength, but filled with the very power of God.  He had wiped away the former things which bound me to sin and unbelief.

"Peter, you will be my witness to proclaim repentance for the forgiveness of sins.  Just as you have been forgiven, My death is a ransom for all who will look to Me."

Some Encouragement for Pursuing Modesty

I have been so encouraged by Melanie's blog, Forever His Servant, since I stumbled across it about a month ago.  God has really spoken to my heart through her evident passion for the Lord, and the things she has shared.  Modesty is an issue that is so important for Christian young women, and I feel that it is often dismissed or taken lightly.  In the past, I did not always hold modesty highly.  I had certain standards, but it wasn't a deep heart desire to love God and love my brothers in Christ by truly pursuing modesty.  As God has drawn my heart closer to Him, I have been convicted of my tendency to compare myself to others in order to justify my clothing choices.  Sometimes even my choices to dress modestly have been the result of peer pressure rather than a true heart desire.

1 Corinthians 13:1-3,13 says, "If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. ²If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. ³And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing... ¹³But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love."

Modesty profits us little if it is not done in a spirit of love for our Lord and our brothers.  On the other hand, it is of little use to say that modesty is an issue of the heart and fail to apply it to our dress and conduct, as Melanie states in the following videos.  I hope you will take the time to watch them and be challenged.

A Woman's Highest Calling

The highest calling for Christian women is not to be a wife, mother and homemaker.

Perhaps some of you were a little shocked by that statement.  Good.  That was my intent.  ;)  I will explain what I mean in a moment, but first for a little bit of clarification.

I believe that feminism is a dangerous inversion of a woman's biblical calling.  The biblical calling for women is to fill the God-given role of being a wife, mother, and homemaker.  While not all women will be married, they are still to act as women.  Our society is falling apart because both men and women have lost their sense of place and purpose.  Women want to be self-fulfilled by pursuing careers, but they often end up debilitating men from fulfilling their masculine role, which is to provide and protect.  Many women feel they have the potential and ability to fill less "traditional" roles.  These "career women" seek dominant positions, giving up their purpose as nurturers and managers of their homes to become driven, manipulative, and business-oriented.  The next generation faces the fate of being lost and motherless, passed from school to day care and seeing their parents only after they have been worn out by a busy work-day and just want to plunk down in front of the TV.  There are many other detrimental side-effects to a feminist society, but I will leave that for another time.

In the end, the lie of feminism comes down to pride.  We want to prove that we are just as good or better than men.  We reject the protection and provision of men because we want the pride of doing things ourselves.  Men are rebuffed and scorned when they so much as open a door for a lady.  Little wonder that godly manhood is little to be seen in our culture.  Pride.  We want what seems best to us, rather than what is best for others.  We want to be higher, to be able to support ourselves, rather than letting men have a position of dominance.   A biblical view of relationships shows there is protection when we place ourselves under God-ordained authority.  We can rest in the place in which God has put us, knowing that our authorities are ultimately responsible to Him, whether they be parents, husbands, teachers, pastors, or governments.  There are a few verses that speak strongly into this issue that I believe are worth sharing:

1 Peter 3:1-5a - "Wives, in the same way [as Jesus submitted himself to death] submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.  Your beauty [...] should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves."

"For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted." Matthew 23:12

"This is the one I esteem: he who is humble and contrite in spirit, and trembles at my word." Is 66:2   

From these verses, one can see that being a wife and mother is not the highest calling for women.  "What!?" you ask?  Indeed, our HIGHEST calling is to humble ourselves on behalf of others, for the sake of our Lord.  In these verses, God is calling all people, including women, to a life that is poured out for him - a life that strives to emulate the humility and love of Jesus.  I would love to be a wife and mother someday, but my highest calling, now and forever, is to pour my life out in love for Christ.

My prayer is to be shaped into the image of my Savior.

My desire is to become a more transparent vessel of Immanuel.

I long to be consumed by the fire of the Holy Spirit and present the ashes of my life as an acceptable aroma to my Lord.  Hebrews 12:18-29 - "Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, for our 'God is a consuming fire.'"