Patchwork

Patchwork, because this post is going to contain a crazy, mismatched blend of what I've been up to lately. Just as a heads up! (Unfortunately nothing to do with actual quilts, although I'd love to make one someday!) I'm rather sad that I haven't been able to blog regularly, but that's just the way life is sometimes... so this is a bit of an update.

Working... I got a job a few weeks back at Staples! It's been a challenge, but definitely an answer to prayer, and I'm very thankful. I'm praying for opportunities and boldness to share Christ there. It can be really hard sometimes, because I don't know what to say, or how to start. But I know God has put me there, and I know He will grow me and use me in that.

Reading... Let's see... over the past few weeks I've read several great books.

• "The Secret of Father Brown" by GK Chesterton. Yes, I finally got to it! Thanks mainly to Amanda who commented on a post a while back and prompted me to make that my next read. I love his writing style, and for the life of me I couldn't figure out a single mystery before Father Brown started untangling it! A great book.
•  "The Pastor's Wife" by Sabina Wurmbrand. I'm almost left without words after reading Mrs. Wurmbrand's testimony in these pages. An incredible account of suffering on behalf of Christ. I'm struck with the marvel of Christ's beauty being revealed in God's children through suffering. The beautiful spirit of Sabina Wurmbrand is a true inspiration to me.
• "Miracle for Jen" by Linda Barrick. This is the true story of a 15 year old girl who suffered a horrible brain injury when her family's vehicle was struck by a drunk driver. Through her pain and physical brokenness, her spiritual side was completely untouched. I was so encouraged and challenged by her faith, and the ways in which God is using her to minister to others.

Memorizing... 1 Peter 1. I started memorizing this passage quite a while ago, and got up to verse 12. I've been wanting to memorize more, and I love 1 Peter, so I'm reviewing and moving on to the next verses. :) This past week, it's been so good to have those verses ready in my mind to strengthen me throughout the day at work. His word is so necessary, so life-giving, helping my mind and my energy to focus on what He says, rather than on my emotions or the things that come at me from the world. "Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed." (1 Peter 1:13) Even in that one verse, I'm recalled to an eternal perspective, and reminded of my call to obey Christ.

I think I'll wrap up this post there... I have a lot to do today, but I do have some post ideas for next week. :) God bless you all!

Bookly Beauty

 To me, books are fine art -
and the older, the better.
If you see me walk into an antique store,
you'll soon find me in the book section,
gingerly opening the crumbling pages.

I have to say I'm not really sold on the whole Kindle/e-reader thing.
I suppose it's practical, but nothing could ever replace my book collection.
So why not have a little photo shoot with some of my antique books?
Yep, that's what I did. ;) 

 Each volume is unique.
Each possesses the power to carry a willing reader
to magical lands,
to discover unchangeable truth,
 to bring colour and light through those printed words in black and white.

Some from book sales, other from family, or given as gifts. 

The speller and reader above came from my grandparents.

The reader has some wonderful illustrations,

and the stories are quite delightful.

What are your favorite books, and why?

Catching up...

Just thought I'd share a bit of what's going on in my everyday life lately... point form! :) Hopefully there will be some new posts up in the next week.

• I got my hair cut on Wednesday! Crazy how much difference that makes... I got about a foot off, making it fall just above my shoulders, and it feels so much different. I loved that I was able to donate it!

• I'm taking a first aid course this weekend. Okay, that was random....

• The job search is on. Newness can be uncomfortable, and I'm a little nervous about these new experiences that are opening up just beyond where I can see, but I'm praying for the right opportunity. I've handed in a few resumes with no results so far, but there are some possibilities on the horizon, so I'll just wait and see what the Lord has in store.

• I've been accepted to university! Still praying about this one - it's a big step, but I feel like it's the right path for now, and I'm trusting that God will continue to guide.

• I'm nearing the end of Bonhoeffer's biography at last... a truly fascinating account, set in a society so similar to our own. Bonhoeffer's writing contains so much wisdom, and much that applies to me and the world we live in today. I'll share some quotes soon. :)

• In a way, I feel like I'm relearning old lessons, as I've been going through some rough times lately. But isn't that the way life is? We are sanctified by learning obedience not only once, but continually, learning to respond with faith in the midst of every trial. A new turbulence comes from an unexpected angle to combat the peace of my soul, and I so easily fall prey to fear. But how beautiful it is to learn that God is still faithful.

Welcome, October

I can't believe we're well into October already! I must say, I love this time of year.  There is something so invigorating about the chill that begins to put an edge in the air, causing the scarves and sweaters to find their way into wardrobes once again. Oh, and yes, in case you're wondering, I did just edit my blog design a little bit. I was getting tired of the blue, and I'm liking the neutral thing for fall. :)

October always brings a sort of rhythm to routine.  The textbooks, so exciting when opened for the first time, have finally showed their true colours, be it for good or ill.  This school year has felt different in some ways, but I'm still with the same school, working with the same teachers, so it hasn't quite registered that I graduated in June (though it's not official until I finish this extra course).  Honestly, I'm happy to still be studying - I'm finding my History course pretty fascinating... though I am beginning to look forward to finishing and moving on to university. :)

I'm thankful my schedule isn't too crazy this year, because even though I always end up busier than I expected, I have some extra time for studying my Bible and reading books that have been on my list for a while.  Like Francis Chan's "Erasing Hell" - more on that coming soon. You see, I don't want to become dead to things that are difficult to understand - even though it's so much easier to ignore them.  I've been reading a number of books recently that have expounded on topics I agree with, but don't necessarily like to dwell on.  They've brought up the big questions in life - things like, "why would a loving God send people to hell?" and, "why does God choose some and not others?" Again and again, I am brought face to face with old realities that I am only slowly coming to embrace with my heart and life.  Oh how I want to go beyond academic acknowledgement and lay my all down for a God who is greater than I can fathom.

God has given so many blessings - times of rest and reassurance, and the continually growing knowledge that the Lord is my shepherd. For those of us in Canada, Thanksgiving is this weekend. I have so much to be thankful for. Truly. May I never lose sight of the precious gospel in the midst of this abundance - I need nothing else.

Grace of the Commonplace

I was laying in bed late last night, thinking and praying... examining my own heart.  I was able to do some reading on our trip, having bought "Crazy Love" and "Erasing Hell" by Francis Chan in Lyndon.  I read "Crazy Love" while we were on the road, and my mom would occasionally read a chapter from "Erasing Hell" or an entry from Oswald Chambers' "My Utmost For His Highest".  For those of you who have read these books, you know that they do not contain easy things.  My heart was changed and convicted as I again realized the greatness of my God, my great inadequacy, and the cost and beauty of my calling. There is no way I could ever change myself - to somehow live up to the perfection of who Christ is. If I see myself as able to stand, I am gravely mistaken. I am swept away in the flood, on my face before a holy God, who gave His life to make me His child.  And so I am continually learning, growing in understanding, in the knowledge of my Saviour, and to this there will be no end.  But with each new insight, I pray that I will not merely hear, but that my life would be transformed.  These past few days, I've been thinking a lot about self-consciousness, insecurity, and pride.  All of those go hand in hand, and I struggle with each one.

Last night I was thinking of how I can so often separate myself from the life of Christ in me.  I realized that the things which I see as being to my account are in reality discounted.  As soon as I do something to which I associate a reward, I have begun to rely on myself and give in to pride. I had to ask myself, "Am I the judge of how effective I am as a Christian, or is God?"  Am I rewarded based on the knowledge that I somehow blessed the life of so-and-so?  If that were true, I would have already received my reward in full. 

During our holiday, Mom would often read a devotion from Oswald Chambers' "My Utmost for His Highest".  The August 21st entry really spoke to my heart on this issue.  I have copied it below.

"Blessed are the poor in spirit." Matthew 5:3

The New Testament notices things which from our standards do not seem to count. "Blessed are the poor in spirit," literally - Blessed are the paupers - an exceedingly commonplace thing! The preaching of to-day is apt to emphasize strength of will, beauty of character - the things that are easily noticed. The phrase we hear so often, Decide for Christ, is an emphasis on something Our Lord never trusted. He never asks us to decide for Him, but to yield to Him - a very different thing. At the basis of Jesus Christ's Kingdom is the unaffected loveliness of the commonplace. The thing I am blessed in is my poverty. If I know I have no strength of will, no nobility of disposition, then Jesus says - Blessed are you, because it is through this poverty that I enter His Kingdom. I cannot enter His Kingdom as a good man or woman, I can only enter it as a complete pauper.

The true character of the loveliness that tells for God is always unconscious. Conscious influence is priggish and un-Christian. If I say - I wonder if I am of any use - I instantly lose the bloom of the touch of the Lord. "He that believeth in me, out of him shall flow rivers of living water." If I examine the outflow, I lose the touch of the Lord.

Which are the people who have influenced us most? Not the ones who thought they did, but those who had not the remotest notion that they were influencing us. In the Christian life the implicit is never conscious, if it is conscious it ceases to have this unaffected loveliness which is the characteristic of the touch of Jesus. We always know when Jesus is at work because He produces in the commonplace something that is inspiring.

A quote from the previous day sums this up well, "Christ-consciousness will take the place of self-consciousness. Wherever Jesus comes He establishes rest, the rest of the perfection of activity that is never conscious of itself."  If it is God who judges and rewards, I will be eternally blessed, not by deeds consciously done in my own strength, but by things done in the unconscious life of the Spirit of God, of which God alone knows the effects and the rewards.

In the end, it comes down to pride. Isn't it such a struggle? I have heard many of you express the difficulties of the battle - but I am so encouraged knowing that we are fighting it, facing it.  And yet, you see, this too poses a problem in my mind.  If we think we can beat pride by simply mustering up the strength to fight it, we will only find ourselves entrenched more deeply.  When we feel that we have become less proud, that is when we are most proud.  As Oswald Chambers alluded to, the only true humility is "unconscious" humility.  If I begin to focus on the overflow, rather than the Fount, it becomes mine rather than His, polluted and worthless.  Jesus said in John 4:14, "Whoever drinks of the water that I will give him shall never thirst; but the water that I will give him will become in him a well of water springing up to eternal life.”  Who will seek this water but the one who recognizes their thirst?  Likewise, we must remember always that it is God who is at work in us - it is the overflow of His grace that proclaims His glory. 

As 1 Corinthians 13 shows, love is ultimately self-less.  It is love that we must walk in, for love "does not seek its own."  Galatians 5:6 says that the only thing that is of any value is "faith expressing itself through love." (NIV)

"If anyone supposes that he knows anything,

he has not yet known as he ought to know;

but if anyone loves God, he is known by Him."

(1 Cor 8:2-3) 

"For it is not he who commends himself that is approved,

but he whom the Lord commends." (2 Cor 10:18) 

"For the love of Christ controls us, having concluded this,

that one died for all, therefore all died; and He died for all, 

so that they who live might no longer live for themselves,

but for Him who died and rose again on their behalf." 

(2 Cor 5:14-15)

There is a mysterious and beautiful complexity to the surrender we are called to.  While dying, we live - not by the merit of our death, but His life.  May it be that we would never attempt to commend ourselves to the Lord, but instead be overwhelmed by the Savior's love, longing to serve Him with true devotion.  It is the Lord God who has approved us in Christ, so that we would be controlled by the love of Christ. He knows us! Incredibly, He chooses to use our lives for His purposes, but we must realize the truth that He is not dependent on us, or even on our obedience. Yet, by Him, we live, and are empowered by the Spirit to no longer live for ourselves! This is the work of God alone, and is deserving of our praise. It is my prayer that we would grow in the knowledge of this great Saviour, to the praise of His grace. "He must increase, but I must decrease."

Onward Ho!

Well, this summer seems to be sailing by... relatively unobserved by myself.  There are two main reasons for this.  Firstly, the weather has all but convinced me that we have mysteriously been transported to the southern hemisphere.  This is the coldest, rainiest summer I can remember.  There have been a few warm days, today being one of them, but truly, we have had some very unseasonable temperatures.  The second reason for the lack of summer-ness is the fact that I have been finishing courses.  Thankfully, the final assignments are rapidly approaching annihilation.  Indeed, they shall be completed by the early portion of next week.  I have decreed it.

If you ask me why I am writing so strangely today, the simple answer is that I am possessed with a strong sense of felicity.  If you ask me what has induced this bout of felicitousness, I would have to attribute it to the sense of nearing the finish line in regards to school and anticipation for church family camp this weekend... and youth camp next week.  And going camping with my family in the states the two weeks after that.

Books.  I am very much bookish this summer.  Not like that's anything unusual... but instead of plowing through a dozen novels a week, I've been slowly working my way through a rather challenging list of non-fiction.  Emphasis on the slowly.  As I said, I've been working hard to get my courses finished.  But I am so looking forward to being able to dig into some good, challenging books.  Of course, I'll probably still read some novels and things that aren't on my list, but I guess I feel like I'm at a stage in my life where I need to really start challenging myself more, rather than relying on the expectations of others.  So I stood in front of the bookshelf in the living room a few weeks ago and picked out a dozen or so that caught my eye.

Here's my "official" reading list for this summer:

- Trusting God by Jerry Bridges (currently reading... still)
- 7 Men Who Rule the World From the Grave (currently reading)
- Girls Gone Wise by Mary Kassian (currently reading lol no, three at once is nothing for me :P)
- The Origin of Species
- A Brief History of Eternity
- Darwin's Black Box
- The World That Perished
- The De-Valuing of America
- The Thousand Year War
- Don't Let Canada Die of Neglect
- Free Enterprise: A Judeo-Christian Defense
- The Roots of Endurance by John Piper
- How Now Shall We Live? by Charles Colson and Nancy Pearcey

Also, I'm hoping to do something artistic this summer... I've got the preliminary sketch of a painting done, and I'm hoping I'll have some time in August to complete it. :)


I just finished reading through the book of Revelation last night... All I can say is, "Amen. Come, Lord Jesus." (Rev. 22:20)  I've always found Revelation a difficult book to read and understand, and honestly, though I don't think it will every be easy, I did have a better understanding of it this time, and God spoke some amazing truths to my heart about His glory and power.  What amazing promises He has given to those who are in Christ.  "His bond-servants will serve Him; they will see His face, and His name will be on their foreheads. And there will no longer be any night; and they will not have need of the light of a lamp nor the light of the sun, because the Lord God will illumine them; and they will reign forever and ever." (Rev 22:3-5)

It makes me think of 1 John 3:2-3, "Beloved, now we are children of God, and it has not appeared as yet what we will be. We know that when He appears, we will be like Him, because we will see Him just as He is. And everyone who has this hope fixed on Him purifies himself, just as He is pure."  Wow... what an incredible thing we have to look forward to!  This is much better than camping for a weekend. ;) That heavenly worship and fellowship will be perfect... oh how I long for that day! I'm just reminded again of the fact that the goal of the Christian life is not to do enough good things to get an honorable mention in Heaven, but to see Jesus! As Paul wrote, "in the future there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day; and not only to me, but also to all who have loved His appearing." (2 Tim 4:8) May we live our lives with this anticipation!

And off I go to round up some last minute things before we head off tonight.  Blessings to you all!