Home

I love my home.

I love the smell of fresh bread as it's being pulled from the oven.

I love the warmth of flannel sheets that cocoon me on chilly mornings.

I love the smiles and laughter and inside jokes that are part of knowing someone forever.

I love the memories created here.

Home means comfort; acceptance; a place to belong and feel safe; a place where I grow and my mistakes are covered by love. I've learned to value this place and these people highly. God has blessed us.

And to give me greater blessing, He asks me to forsake it. No, not to forsake in the sense of abandonment or ceasing to love, but to consider all things as secondary to following Him. To serve and love even more for His sake. And yes, to be willing to step beyond comfort.

"And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life." (Matt 19:29)

If we are not "at home" everywhere He leads us, we are not in a spiritual state that is prepared for heaven.

Christ himself must become our home. He must become everything. Is it any wonder that scripture describes God in the terms of almost every human relationship? He is our brother, friend, father, healer, guide, bridegroom, king, master, shepherd, saviour, teacher, and the list goes on. He is our shelter, food, drink, and comfort. He is the one who clothes us with His righteousness!

When we realize this earth is not our home, nothing can hold us back from Him. All places will be home, for His glory is our refuge. We will be ready when He calls us away from that which we have at once renounced and embraced for His sake, and will fly with the joy of fulfillment to the presence of Him who was our only vision.

I'm writing this because, well, I'm a wimp sometimes. I need to remember, not just when it's fresh and real to me, but when my soul faces tumult and doubt. I am inspired by the words of Paul in Philippians 3:7-12

But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead.
Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.

I love Paul's postscript there - "not that I have already obtained all this".... but that "Christ Jesus took hold of me."

It's about knowing Christ. It's about coming back to the Father who waits with arms wide open! (Luke 15) Home is where Jesus lives - and whenever my heart surrenders to Him, I am home.

As the Seasons Change

These weeks of mid-November hover between autumn and winter.  The leaves that so vibrantly lit the trees and carpeted the ground have now all fallen and been beaten by torrents of rain into the unidentifiable sludge that fills the gutters.  Over all this falls the pure, white loveliness of the first snow.  It blankets the ground, muffles the sounds of a busy world.  You watch as your breath forms clouds of steam in the chilly air, see the mountains' splendor, and reminisce on cozy, candle-lit evenings.

Seasons change. I'd far rather view that change as beautiful and dynamic instead of sitting back and watching it inevitably happening around me.  I want to be a participant, not just an observer.  I don't want to languish as I watch life go by, but embrace every moment of beauty, to stand strong in the face of the most devastating storm.

Sometimes I find myself asking, "How?"  How do I abide in such a way that I am assured of my purpose and find joy in every situation? These past weeks, as I've marveled at the red-gold leaves and the snow-dusted mountain peaks, as I've trudged through the rain, and watched it melt away the snow, I've been thinking of these things.

Even today, there has been a spirit of discouragement as I feel overwhelmed by future plans. The future is so wide, so unknown, and I have little sense of what my place in it may be. I've been reminded again of Paul's prayer in Colossians 1:9-12, which identifies that the will of God is to "walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, to please Him in all respects, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God; strengthened with all power, according to His glorious might, for the attaining of all steadfastness and patience; joyously giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified us to share in the inheritance of the saints in Light." These things are His will for me now and forever. They hold secure promises of the Father's faithfulness, and reminders of His incredible salvation.  As I continue to make decisions, I must remember to keep walking forward while keeping these things as most important - to do all things as unto the Lord, in His power, giving thanks to Him in everything.

There is a peace in this. When I look at the many grand dreams that may soon break through to reality, I feel so unqualified, so inadequate.  But oh - if I only remember that God himself has qualified me to "share in the inheritance of the saints in Light." As I embrace this unfathomable truth, I know that I need never fear failure, because my identity is tied up in Christ. There will be days of rain and times of darkness, and my world may fall around me, but I will not be shaken.

Oh how I struggle! But may I continually cling to my Rock. To do this I must release all else - all fear, all pride, which paralyzes me from moving to Him. May I never be so caught up in the "what if's" and worrying that I fail to see the indescribably beautiful moments that each season brings - as I move forward in the strength of His power.

Welcome, October

I can't believe we're well into October already! I must say, I love this time of year.  There is something so invigorating about the chill that begins to put an edge in the air, causing the scarves and sweaters to find their way into wardrobes once again. Oh, and yes, in case you're wondering, I did just edit my blog design a little bit. I was getting tired of the blue, and I'm liking the neutral thing for fall. :)

October always brings a sort of rhythm to routine.  The textbooks, so exciting when opened for the first time, have finally showed their true colours, be it for good or ill.  This school year has felt different in some ways, but I'm still with the same school, working with the same teachers, so it hasn't quite registered that I graduated in June (though it's not official until I finish this extra course).  Honestly, I'm happy to still be studying - I'm finding my History course pretty fascinating... though I am beginning to look forward to finishing and moving on to university. :)

I'm thankful my schedule isn't too crazy this year, because even though I always end up busier than I expected, I have some extra time for studying my Bible and reading books that have been on my list for a while.  Like Francis Chan's "Erasing Hell" - more on that coming soon. You see, I don't want to become dead to things that are difficult to understand - even though it's so much easier to ignore them.  I've been reading a number of books recently that have expounded on topics I agree with, but don't necessarily like to dwell on.  They've brought up the big questions in life - things like, "why would a loving God send people to hell?" and, "why does God choose some and not others?" Again and again, I am brought face to face with old realities that I am only slowly coming to embrace with my heart and life.  Oh how I want to go beyond academic acknowledgement and lay my all down for a God who is greater than I can fathom.

God has given so many blessings - times of rest and reassurance, and the continually growing knowledge that the Lord is my shepherd. For those of us in Canada, Thanksgiving is this weekend. I have so much to be thankful for. Truly. May I never lose sight of the precious gospel in the midst of this abundance - I need nothing else.

Contentment: The Heart That Gives

Continuing to think on the track of the last post, I just wanted to share some scriptures that stuck out to me when I was looking up contentment. Compared to how the world thinks, these things are revolutionary - just as they were in the world Jesus and the apostles taught in.

I was just recalling the parable in Luke 12 today, about the rich man who planned to build bigger barns for his harvest. To him, God said, "'You fool! This very night your soul is required of you; and now who will own what you have prepared?' So is the man who stores up treasure for himself, and is not rich toward God." Often, our attitude towards wealth includes the notion of storing it up, accumulating it, counting our pennies.  Though we can do this with money, the point is that we cannot do the same with the days of our life. There is no such thing as putting our days in a savings account, or buying stocks in life-lengthener.

Paul wrote similarly in 1 Tim 6:6-10,

"But godliness actually is a means of great gain when accompanied by contentment. For we have brought nothing into the world, so we cannot take anything out of it either. If we have food and covering, with these we shall be content. But those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a snare and many foolish and harmful desires which plunge men into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all sorts of evil, and some by longing for it have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs."

Going back a bit farther in time, to the ministry of John the Baptist, I found it interesting to see what the forerunner of Jesus had to say to those who questioned him about the proper response in light of the coming wrath.

"'The man who has two tunics is to share with him who has none; and he who has food is to do likewise.' And some tax collectors also came to be baptized, and they said to him, 'Teacher, what shall we do?' And he said to them, 'Collect no more than what you have been ordered to.' Some soldiers were questioning him, saying, 'And what about us, what shall we do?' And he said to them, 'Do not take money from anyone by force, or accuse anyone falsely, and be content with your wages.'" (Luke 3:11-14)

How incredible! Before this, John had been proclaiming the coming judgment of God upon unbelievers, telling them that "the axe is already laid at the root of the trees; so every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire." Unlike many doom-sayers of today, John warned the people not to hoard their possessions, but, in essence, to count it as nothing.  The ability to do this requires the grace of God which leads to repentance and enables the believer to forsake themselves.

This all sounds very biblical and theological, but the real test comes in asking, "what does this really mean for me to obey?"  Looking at how John directly and specifically addressed the crowds and the tax collectors and the soldiers, it can be seen that this is not something to be understood and then passed over.  There are two questions that I need to ask myself: "What do I habitually take or hoard for myself?" and "What do I have to give?" This is so convicting to me, as I know that there are many things which I have not fully abandoned for the sake of Jesus. For everyone, there will be different answers. In my life, I know a big one is time. I need to be rethinking "me-time" and focusing on how I can best use it to grow in my relationship with God and be a blessing to others. Another one is my reputation - my status in the eyes of others. So often I fear the judgment or rejection of others. Am I willing to sacrifice and step out of my comfort zone for the name of Jesus? There are countless other ways in which this applies to my life. These are really hard things, although they are often accomplished in small steps... like giving an extra coat away, or encouraging a hurting friend.

I realize that I've been mainly focusing on fruit in this post, but it's so important to realize that none of it can be achieved without a transformed heart that has been ransomed by the blood of Christ and fully given over to Him. When we hoard time and resources, we are merely feeding the flesh and displaying carelessness toward our eternal fate. Eternally, anything we gain will be that which we have given for the glory of Christ.  I love Jim Elliot's quote, "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose." Oh that I would truly be able to forsake myself and live for the honour of my King!