Sunday, March 6, 2011

What to say...

Hey there...
Be prepared for some major incoherency.  It's been a long week.
Just to let you know I have about 3 draft posts on the go right now, I just don't have the motivation to actually post them.  Shall I?  I'm not really sure what direction I'm going with this blog, because I'm not really the serious, committed, theme-oriented blogger type. Really, I'm just doing this for kicks. Does anyone read this blog? It's ok if you don't, but honestly, it would be nice to know.  Please leave a comment if you don't read this blog.

I feel like I've been really bombarded with a lot of things lately, and I'm feeling a bit of shell shock.  God is so amazing though, and I know that He alone is carrying me through.  Normally, I would be resenting having lots of stuff thrown at me like this, but the Holy Spirit is changing my attitudes to see that this is a time of training and testing.  I have been so blessed by the following verses, and I have been using them as prayers and promises.  I truly want to be tested, even though I know it won't always be pleasant, because I want to grow.  I want to glorify God by trusting in Him as my perfect Father.

"But He knows the way I take; When He has tried me, I shall come forth as gold." (Job 23:10)

"Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.  And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us." (Romans 5:3-5)

And what have I been up to, you ask? (I don't know if there is a you. Am I hearing voices? I may be talking to myself again, but that's nothing new...)  Well, I played piano twice at the music festival this past week.  I've been doing this for years now, but I still get super nervous.  Funny, it seems to always hit halfway through my piece.  The first time, it caused my fingers to fumble so I missed a couple bars that I knew super well at home.  The second piece, I was ready for it, so I made it through with minimal stumbles.  I received silver for both pieces, which isn't up to my previous standard, but I was completely satisfied with that. I'm glad to be done - pretty sure this will be my last year at the Festival.

Trial Number Two: I've been dealing with a cold since last Monday.  Icky stuff.  I'm not a fan of congestion. Even through that though, God has been so good! I was really nervous and feeling yucky, yes, but beneath all that has been this wonderful joy, just in knowing that my God is with me, and the fact that nothing else matters in comparison to Him.

On a more interpersonal and spiritual level, God has been teaching me a lot lately.  For one, He's been teaching me just how much I still need to grow!  I've been sitting under some wonderful, deep, and convicting teaching recently.  It's so easy to let even the best teaching just sort of slide over the surface of my consciousness, but the Holy Spirit has been working to get it to pierce my heart.  I feel like my whole perspective is being shaken, and I'm praying that it won't settle until I see things the way God does.

Many more things of scariness and import are lurking in the shadows.  Like school.  And friends... and the fear of being seen as judgmental if I take a stand.  And also futuristic things, like finding a summer job and preparing for graduation and university.  Fun fun!

So much more I could say, but this is turning into a full-fledged journal entry.  Or maybe an autobiography. Oh, wouldn't that be interesting. Or not.  Haha, apparently I didn't have much trouble tonight with "What to say".  Please disregard the title to this post.


  1. Hi Nina, you said to comment when I don´t read your blog, but I am commenting now to say that I do read your blog. I do read almost every post you make. Sometimes it helps me in my faith/trust/belief. Thank you for sharing your thoughts!

  2. Aw thank you, Lara! :) This ended up being a silly post, because my mind does strange things when I'm overtired. ;) I'll try to keep going though - thanks for the encouragement!