Tuesday, October 26, 2010

When Trials Come

So this is kind of a random post.  About frustrations.  And stress management.  I've been struggling with stress and anxiety a lot this past week.  I have to give it up to God, over and over and over.  But he is so gracious, carrying me on eagles wings, lifting me up to see his beauty when I feel weighed down by the mundane issues of my existence. 
I know I often take on too much... but the real problem is that I usually try to tackle things alone.  I soon realize that the weight is crushing me and I cry out for rescue.  I am beginning to realize that I need to constantly cast my anxiety on him.  I keep clutching my burdens to myself as if I can contain and destroy them, while the reality is that it will only destroy me, and could very well destroy those around me.  I need to remember the command to "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." (1 Peter 5:7) 

One of my main sources of anxiety (the kind the subtly and constantly gnaws beneath the surface) is the question of "what are you doing after you graduate?".  I really have no idea.  It seems that everyone is marching off confidently to become a doctor, a nurse, a mother, a teacher, a missionary, an engineer.  I have dreams, yes, but they are hazy.  I feel no "call" as such.  I often have a sense that I am marching steadily toward the edge of a precipice, to the doom of a purposeless fast food career.  Ok, so that was a bit dramatic.  But honestly, I need to constantly remind myself that God is the one who has written the story of my life before I drew my first breath.  I must rest in the promise that he knows the plans he has for me, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jer 29:11)
I know that God is sufficient, and I rejoice in his provisions.  One of these provisions is a nagging voice in my head that tells me to go out for a walk when I've sat staring at an unfinished English assignment for 2 hours.  There are practical things that can help to refresh my mind and spirit when I feel frustrated and uninspired.  For me that would definitely include exercise, but I also find refreshment and fulfillment in cleaning, baking, or doing laundry.  I love doing it because it's so different from the academic brain work I am chained to most of the day, and it's nice to be able to lighten my mom's load.  Even little things like taking a few minutes away from my work to practice worship songs on the piano, or get up to get a glass of water and meditate on a memory verse, can help phenomenally with my state of mind and productivity rate.  What kind of things do you do to manage stress?

"Even youths grow tired and weary,
       and young men stumble and fall;
 but those who hope in the LORD
       will renew their strength.
       They will soar on wings like eagles;
       they will run and not grow weary,
       they will walk and not be faint."  - Isaiah 40:30-31


  1. Just 'member that you can glorify God working at McDonalds just as much as you can by being a missionary! :) :) Sounds crazy, but its true...

    This is sort of random, but I heard an analogy once about how God sees us. The really pious man who loves God with all his heart and was saved at five is like Mt. Everest - and then there's the serial killer who just recently came to Christ and is still struggling with his faith. He's like the bottom of the Grand Canyon. But God...well, He's up in heaven, so Mt. Everest and the Grand Canyon look the same! :D

    Thanks for following my blog,


  2. Thanks for your comment! I have really enjoyed your blog :)
    So true... this past week God has been impressing on my heart that his ultimate will for my life is for me to glory in him alone- to spend so much time thinking about him and worshiping him that he is fully and totally ENOUGH.

    I like your analogy. Thankfully, when God looks at me, as with all believers, he sees Christ. And yet he does know my heart, which is so often distracted with other things, and disciplines me as a child he loves. He wants us to become more like him, and he won't let us remain "grand-canyon" Christians, although we all go through "grand-canyon" times.