As the page turns...

A new year's coming. I must be getting old. I've barely gotten used to 2012! It's gonna be a big year ahead. Some pretty major changes, which I'll probably be sharing a bit about soon. (No, not getting married or anything.) :P

It was a good Christmas. I think some of the tragedies - Newtown and other things closer to home - actually helped get the focus on spiritual things rather than on the fluffy stuff. To think about others rather than ourselves.

Sometimes the greatest gifts are the smallest things. The things we already have, but perhaps need to rediscover. The cozy, quiet room downstairs. The spontaneous gifts from small friends. The thrift store finds.

There's this wanting to hold onto time that's so quickly slipping away. I dream sometimes of driving, unable to stop. There's a terror in it - a realization that I'm no longer in control. Waking reality is much the same. No matter how hard I press the brakes, I cannot change the speed of life, but only the speed I live.

I realize life's shortness when I look ahead to eternity. I realize its importance when I look and see those traveling with me.

I want to be "all there." I want to show people that they matter. I want to be willing to slow down, to make conversation deeper than the "how are you" and "good, how bout you?" that repeats without meaning week after week. I want to do hard things. I want to stop wishing other people would change, and simply live how Christ has called me to live.

I want to glory in the small things, in the joy and illumination of thinking God's thoughts after Him, in making things with my hands, in enjoying beauty and creativity.

I'm thankful for the gospel of grace. Without it, I would be doomed to fail in any resolution I could make. I'll still fail, and fail often, but thanks be to God, I am made perfect in Him! Looking to Him is the reason for hope; He is the one I follow even when I realize I can never follow perfectly. Anything good achieved through me is His gift, His work.

Thanks be to God.

Homeschooling moments...

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I feel so blessed to have the opportunity to homeschool two adorable little girls about one day a week. Hannah, the oldest at 7 years old, is the thoughtful, responsible one. She has no trouble taking charge, and, to her sister's frustration, is usually right. Lilly, age 5, has perfected the puppy-dog look, and can go from irrepressible exuberance one minute to miniature drama queen the next.  I love listening to their prayers as we start the school day...

"God please help us share and listen good and learn lots about you..."

"Please help Hannah not be scared at night..."

And some more amusing than sweet, like, "Help Lilly be nice and not mean and help her share the toys with me, especially the cash register that she wasn't sharing yesterday..." And the little indignant sounds that result from such pointed prayers, coming from across the table.... ;)

Teaching is such a rewarding task. I just love watching those light bulb moments - when it finally clicks - and the huge smiles when they get the right answer to a tough question. There is nothing like watching the frustration and tears of trying to sound out a new word melting into the exhilaration of achievement.

All cuddled up on the sofa last Tuesday, one girl glued to each side with a book in the middle, we read the story of Jonah. Hannah listens quietly as the story progresses and the consequence of Jonah's disobedience to God becomes apparent. As the curriculum text finishes talking about the importance of obeying God and our parents right away, Hannah pauses and then thoughtfully says, "That was a good story for Lilly and I to hear. I think we really needed to hear that today."

I honestly think this is the best job in the world. ;)